| There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): |
Operator | Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you? |
Caller | Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect |
Operator | What sort of trouble? |
Caller | Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away |
Operator | Went away? |
Caller | They disappeared |
Operator | Hmm So what does your screen look like now? |
Caller | Nothing |
Operator | Nothing?? |
Caller | It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type |
Operator | Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out? |
Caller | How do I tell? |
Operator | Can you see the C: prompt on the screen? |
Caller | What's a sea-prompt? |
Operator | Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen? |
Caller | There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type |
Operator | Does your monitor have a power indicator? |
Caller | What's a monitor? |
Operator | It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light
that tells you when it's on? |
Caller | I don't know |
Operator | Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that? |
Caller | Yes, I think so |
Operator | Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall |
Caller | Yes, it is |
Operator | When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one? |
Caller | No |
Operator | Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable |
Caller | Okay, here it is |
Operator | Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer |
Caller | I can't reach |
Operator | Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is? |
Caller | No |
Operator | Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over? |
Caller | Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark |
Operator | Dark? |
Caller | Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window |
Operator | Well, turn on the office light then |
Caller | I can't |
Operator | No? Why not? |
Caller | Because there's a power failure |
Operator | A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in? |
Caller | Well, yes, I keep them in the closet |
Operator | Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from. |
Caller | Really? Is it that bad? |
Operator | Yes, I'm afraid it is |
Caller | Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them? |
Operator | Tell them you're too effing stupid to own a computer!!!!! |